woo anxiety

i swear, a couple years ago i did not have anxiety. like i had some mild nerves around public speaking but it never really stopped me from doing anything at all? like my knees would be all wiggly after class presentations but i liked attention enough that it didn't particularly stop me from actually getting up there and presenting, especially because i had friends with serious fears about it so i would just tank the hit and get up there and make bad jokes about hamlet or whatever. great fun for the whole family, really.

anyway. now i feel anxious biking around my own damn neighborhood. what the fuck is up with that. i'm in a cafe that i came to in high school no problem and i am anxious for no reason. i don't even think people are looking at me or anything. you'd think sleeping in hostels for like 2 months and traveling through like a dozen countries would help this. i didn't even feel particularly anxious when i was THERE. and yet. i return to the united states and experience the sudden and tragic death of my ability to go outside. what the fuck. have the french been right the whole time. is it in the food. is the fda not protecting me from anxiety chemicals in the bread or something. this does not happen in italy (/ref).

in all honesty it's probably covid because everything these days is. but also it wasn't even this bad a few weeks ago. in a foreign country. or at least, it was similar but more logical. before i could fear looking like a stupid american or something. what am i fearing now. still looking like a stupid american? its america. we're all stupid americans (affectionate). one of the great appeals of this great nation is how you can do stupid shit like wear your pajamas in public and nobody cares. so who crossed my brain wires. i WILL find you, and i WILL kick you in the skins. or maybe i won't because i'll get anxious again.

08/28/2023

music page! submissions box!

i got a music page up and running with all my radio playlists from fall 2022 (weird noises from within)! if you miss any of the music i played there or missed a show, you can find them easily over in the music tab. my spotify is a mess so. now everything is in one place. i'm debating if i want to link the nuns on a beach show content too, just because some of my guests turned out to suck so i'm still thinking abt it.

more importantly!!! the music tab now has a submissions box! it'll be in the left sidebar on desktop, or at the bottom of the page on mobile (which i want to change, but we'll see what happens ig). if there are any songs you want me to play, send them in! i'm very excited abt this so i hoe to link everything to my friends on my social media soon which will be cool and rad.

i'm going to be working on the photos tab next! i'm a little nervous because in the time creating this page i've been saving and reusing tons of graphics and now i'm like "... what if people take MY photos" but it's like mediocre travel photography so why would they do that. go find the professional stuff somewhere it'll b better, promise. still thinking about formatting, because i have a lot of different photos. i can't post all of them, though, because neocities has it's own content limit. idk what i'll come up with for choosing the photos bc if i post the same ones on insta and here then what would be the point?? we shall see.

08/07/2023

linking success

it's a little wonky, but i have something in place to link to dates! i haven't yet figured out what i want to do about duplicates poste don the same day or anything, so for now this post is under the fake date of july 32nd lmao.

07/32/2023

first post: webtzite has more than one page!

i have finally reigned victorious over my own code! jk that seems like a counterintuitive perspective. anyway, just because i'm trying to get off twitter doesn't mean i don't like microblogging. i think it's just such a funny way of living life. plus, at least right now, i don't have to worry about anyone seeing anything i write. i have a tiny twitter following of like 150 but they're mostly people i know, which makes more anxious than if it was thousands of people i didn't. anyway. here's to this layout working. i hope i can get the date links to work.

07/31/2023

about

This was my first "official" site design and lasted from February 2016 to May 2016. Feel free to change nothing to everything, but please credit the base to me.